Written at Cody’s place three or so weeks ago in notepad.
Sand dunes roam my mind
hawks screech their presence
goosebumps from the sky
sand caught in my eyes
lost in my mind
from the haze, an oasis
deep within murky waters
my eyes stare back up at me
not me but of me
embrace this creature and ride the waves
time flows like a river
but is shaped like a double helix
sore so sore
torn so torn
but where are we in the end
death god death
life gods life
lies lies lies lies lies lies lies
written in the sand
covering the scared earth beneath
being the wind is such a curse
angel of jin
opperession of history
pigeon caught in cloth lines
lamb blood flooding the balcony
duck pined down by it’s wings
moral delimma as I kill to live
fear of looking beneath the sand
the victim finally accepting their role
tumbling, fumbling and crashing along the way
..but then I awake from deep slumber
heart pounding, jin’s presence still lingering
wondering who I am and where I am
languidly traveling along the helix
disappointed in what I remember
“Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!”
Black door, black clothes.
Black eyes, black hair.
This depression you condemn me for.
You caused it.
Sitting here just hoping I don’t become either of you.
But I am..
I am slipping slowly but surely.
She no longer wrties, no longer draws, no longer smiles.
He is the same.
The fucking same.
Good memories and bad.
How the fuck am I supposed to feel about him?
Tired of talking about the trauma.
Tired of feeling the emptiness.
Tired of running from your law.
Tired of being plauged by your voice in my mind.
So much anger that I don’t know how to express.
I love you but I fucking hate you both.
Fuck your god. Fuck your tradition. Fuck you.
You said that I write to mock you.
No, but now I do..and this one is just for you.
Tell me what’s more important?
Saving face or saving a daughter from darkness?
Keeping with tradition or trying to be a better person?
Being a victim or a survivor?
And To think that guilt almost made me become a slave to you.
She wears bright
red shoes to dance