The Sin Of Greed

Been processing a few things.  Noticing that when I care about someone, I can’t help the impulse to help or know what’s going on despite a person being adamant against it.  I’ve displayed this with A[redacted] many times in her states of seclusion.  It’s the idea of seeing the person in my mind dealing with that shit alone, cutting themselves off from everyone and not being able to get the issue(s) off their chest.  Like with L[redacted], people sometimes tend to self-destruct in one manner or other during that time.

I mean, it’s not a state of mind that I’m foreign to, that’s why I don’t like seeing others in it.  I’m pretty bad at cheering people up, but I’m a decent listener I think so it’s what I try to do.  Listen to what ails those I care about.  Cheering someone up is much better though, it takes their mind off of the bad shit.  Wish I had that skill sometimes.

So yeah, blog.  It was good to talk to you.  I created you as my platform for a monologue and therapy long ago.  A good way for introspection and honesty with oneself since, in a way, it’s a record for me to read later in life.  I used to believe in not expressing any of my thoughts some years ago, but that has changed.  This is my first real diary/blog and I can see why people feel the need to do it.  It’s not about the page views or comments or the attention you can attract with it.  Least, not for the true introspective blogger.  It’s about therapy and perhaps the off-chance of a constructive comment now and then that may help.  Like an informal dialogue.  Some people see things from a different angle than you do (of course).

I am rambling now, heh.  Something that also happens often with me.