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Church of Satan February 17, 2010, 08:32:27 PM

The Nine Satanic Statements

The Nine Satanic Statements outline what “Satan” represents in the Church of Satan.

  • Satan represents indulgence instead of abstinence.
  • Satan represents vital existence instead of spiritual pipe dreams.
  • Satan represents undefiled wisdom instead of hypocritical self-deceit.
  • Satan represents kindness to those who deserve it instead of love wasted on ingrates.
  • Satan represents vengeance instead of turning the other cheek.
  • Satan represents responsibility to the responsible instead of concern for psychic vampires.
  • Satan represents man as just another animal, sometimes better, more often worse than those that walk on all-fours, who, because of his “divine spiritual and intellectual development”, has become the most vicious animal of all.
  • Satan represents all of the so-called sins, as they all lead to physical, mental, or emotional gratification.
  • Satan has been the best friend the Church has ever had, as He has kept it in business all these years.

The Nine Satanic Sins

  • Stupidity
  • Pretentiousness
  • Solipsism
  • Self-deceit
  • Herd Conformity
  • Lack of Perspective
  • Forgetfulness of Past Orthodoxies
  • Counterproductive Pride
  • Lack of Aesthetics

The Eleven Satanic Rules of the Earth

  • Do not give opinions or advice unless you are asked.
  • Do not tell your troubles to others unless you are sure they want to hear them.
  • When in another’s lair, show them respect or else do not go there.
  • If a guest in your lair annoys you, treat them cruelly and without mercy.
  • Do not make sexual advances unless you are given the mating signal.
  • Do not take that which does not belong to you unless it is a burden to the other person and they cry out to be relieved.
  • Acknowledge the power of magic if you have employed it successfully to obtain your desires. If you deny the power of magic after having called upon it with success, you will lose all you have obtained.
  • Do not complain about anything to which you need not subject yourself.
  • Do not harm little children.
  • Do not kill non-human animals unless you are attacked or for your food.
  • When walking in open territory, bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask them to stop. If they don’t stop, destroy them.

Pentagonal Revisionism

Pentagonal Revisionism is a plan consisting of five major goals written in 1988 by founder Anton Szandor LaVey:

  • Stratification — “No one should be protected from the effects of their own stupidity.”
  • Strict taxation of all churches — “The productive, the creative, the resourceful should be subsidized. So long as the useless and incompetent are getting paid, they should be heavily taxed.”
  • No tolerance for religious beliefs secularized and incorporated into law and order issues — “Amnesty should be considered for anyone in prison because of their alleged “influence” upon the actual perpetrator of the crime. Everyone is influenced in what they do. Scapegoating has become a way of life, a means of survival for the unfit. As an extension of the Judeo-Christian cop-out of blaming the Devil for everything, criminals can gain leniency, even praise, by placing the blame on a convenient villain. Following the Satanic creed of “Responsibility to the responsible”, in a Satanic society, everyone must experience the consequences of their own actions—for good or ill.”
  • Development and production of artificial human companions — “An economic “godsend” which will allow everyone “power” over someone else. Polite, sophisticated, technologically feasible slavery. And the most profitable industry since TV and the computer.”
  • The opportunity for anyone to live within a total environment of their choice, with mandatory adherence to the aesthetic and behavioral standards of same — “Privately owned, operated and controlled environments as an alternative to homogenized and polyglot ones. The freedom to insularize oneself within a social milieu of personal well-being. An opportunity to feel, see, and hear that which is most aesthetically pleasing, without interference from those who would pollute or detract from that option.”

These goals have a secondary purpose, as stated by the author, to allow non-Satanists to determine their alignment with Satanist “attitudes.” Thus, the goals arguably serve as a litmus test for non-Satanists, more so than a compendia of the Satanist purpose. Since the “goals” cross ideological boundaries into economic (taxation) and technological (human companions), they seemingly expand the scope of Satanism to include non-ideological purposes. However, it must be noted that as “goals”, Pentagonal Revisionism isn’t specifically a statement of dogma but rather the application of Satanist dogma to current social/economic conditions with the resultant five “goals” that stand out where Satanism can do the most good, i.e. act as a rally cry for members. Other texts, such as The Satanic Bible, also by LaVey, serve the most specifically as a reference for Satanic dogma.

B[redacted] introduced me to it when we were discussing making a logo for the web comic I plan on doing eventually.    The logo is going to be a demented teddy bear with the Sigil of Baphomet on it somewhere that is holding a pacifier.  The pacifier will have horns growing out of it.